101 Bush Jr. Jokes. Writ Before He Was Pres. Dubya!
03
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere
above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot,
Michael Jordan, George W. Bush, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly,
an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment,
and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened,
and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have
good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New
Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of
them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash.
"Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world
needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a
parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes,
and hurtled through the door and into the night.
George W. Bush rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am supposed to be the President
of the U.S. The world needs leaders, and I think leaders should have a parachute,
too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke.
"My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of
True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I
will go down with the plane."
The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry. The supposed leader of the
free world just jumped out wearing my backpack."
02 A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:
"Many say
the only reason why you would be elected for President is due to the enormous power
and influence of your father."
"That notion is ridiculous!" mocked George Jr. "It doesn't matter how powerful the
man is. He can only vote once!"
01
Pappy Bush, His Son Jeb and his other son Dubya were in a bar
pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided
to get in on the weekly raffle.
They bought five $1 tickets each, seeing it was for charity.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won
a prize.
Pappy Bush won the first prize - a whole year's supply of
gourmet spaghetti sauce.
Son Jeb was the winner of the second prize - six month's
supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti.
Dubya won the sixth prize - a toilet brush.
When they gathered in the same bar a week later, Pappy
asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes.
"Great," said Jeb "I love spaghetti."
"So do I," said Pappy. "And how's the toilet brush,
Dubya?"
"Not so good," Dubya said, "I reckon I'll go back to
paper..."
