WHY WE CONSERVATIVES WON & HOW WE ARE GOING TO KEEP WINNING!

We've all heard it all: We won while Gore slept, while the national liberal media was sleeping, while Bill Clinton was on all fours instructing some female intern on his dawg ways. Some radical liberal wackoes are pushing the asinine idea that we stole the election. These characters brains are on sideways, and they are urinating on the Constitution, just as sure as the drunken, welfare, homeless, liberal voting bum urinates in the alleys of our great cities. Some wacko liberal cartoonist, like that Herbert "The Red" Block of pravada of the Potomac, aka 'The Washington Post', drew our leaders digging through dumpsters for ideas, wrongfully begging our brothers and our sister who are justices on the Supreme Court for their rightful and righteous intervention that was our salvation, as though our cause wasn't worthy, and we are like the undeserving, liberal slackers who line up at soup kitchens for handouts. And if that is not enough, even now, weeks after the Supreme Court's magnificent 5 to 4 decision and the installation of G.W. as the President, you can't walk down a Washington street without being confronted by an awful person or two, sometimes three and four, wearing a T-shirt, or hat, or carrying a banner with the disgraceful rant that G.W. stole the election. G.W. can not look out of the Oval Office without seeing the awful sight of radical no goods, camped in the street, shouting an obscenity at him. It's a national disgrace! It is unholy. It is un-American. It is not right.

Of course the liberal media and the liberal establishment, with their liberal agenda is behind this. The liberals would have you believe that the nuts, still crying about a stolen election, are doing this on their own and are not being orchestrated by the liberal establishment. I point this out, not because we should be concerned about this. Their crying and belly aching, after all this time, show that they have a problem. They want us to believe that somehow we have a responsibility to extend a brotherly hand to them. They are losers. We have won. We won because we beat the liberals and their allies, the minorities. Liberal politicians sat up a scheme years ago to lock up the minorities' vote. We have finally defeated that scheme by solving the problem of the minority vote. Liberals used unfair and socialist tactics to lock up this vote, by throwing money at minorities. That's right! Liberals took our tax dollars and spent them on the minorities, with food programs, and housing and education schemes. Unlike the conventional wisdom that welfare programs are schemes of soft-headed liberals, these programs are the means used by crafty hard-nose leftist politicians to lock up the minority vote. Well, we showed those crafty bums what smart conservatives can do.

YES, INDEED MR & MRS AMERICA, we taught the liberals and their freeloading supporters a lesson in tough politics. I know what you are thinking, friends. I shouldn't discuss this here. These people are so arrogant that they won't read what I say anyway. A liberal by nature is a fool who only listens to himself. The liberal does not read our writings or listen to us. You know this as well as I. The liberal politician doesn't read, doesn't think. The liberal believes he knows what he knows, which is everything. The liberal won't even read the Good Book!

We won because we followed a simple plan: a plan that we should reproduce and perfect. We did not count all of the minority vote. We shouldn't have counted any of it, and should perfect our plan, so that in the future we won't. Why should we count their vote? Minorities can't count anyway. Have you seen their math scores? Minorities don't count anyway. Many are vagrants, freeloaders, who spend their time whining about this and that. We should continue to enforce every law we can to keep minorities from voting. Make voting as inconvenient for them as possible. Decrease the number of voting places in their communities. Decrease the amount of voting information provided to them. Make the rules long, confusing and misleading. Use the police to check for felony convictions of minorities who show up at the polls. Use the police and the courts to increase felony convictions of minorities. Schedule free late night concerts on the night before elections and make available whiskey and drugs. Remember, what we are doing is not racial, but political. Let no one call you a racist because you want to keep down the minority vote. This is not racial politics, but survival politics.

In summary, we won because we kept the count of the minority vote down. We win when we keep the minority vote down.
 
 

--   by George T. Longhorne ,Conservative, FOD