HUMOR:    Exclusive: Dubya Explains Why No Osama! Flattworld: Mr. Pres, would you care to tell us why you haven't captured Bin Laden? Dubya: Hell no! Flattworld: Do you want to say that? Dubya: Aw right, I've got a secret. I can't tell ya. Flattworld: Will you give us a clue? Dubya: No! And don't you go saying what the liberals say, that I haven't a clue, 'cause I just happen to have two of them. Clues! Flattworld: Well, Dr. Rice --? Dubya: No, she is not a clue. Flattworld: Next question, sir. Dr. Rice -- Dubya: I told you, she is not a clue. Flattworld: Yes, sir. Sir, may I ask the next question? Dubya: You won't fool me. You aren't giving up so soon. Flattworld: Sir, Dr Rice and the vice-president -- Dubya: What! You're so sneaky, how did you put that together? Flattworld: Sir, the vice-president and Dr. Rice, how are they -- Dubya: I told Cheney his secret wouldn't be a secret for long. Connie told him too. Flattworld: What secret, sir? Dubya: It was Dick's and Karl's idea. Karl said: keep shifting undisclosed secret locations to keep the pests of the press off the scent, and Dick kept dropping in on them to see if Osama was comforty. Flattworld: Mr. President, what are you saying? Dubya: You think we are dumb, don't you? That this administration is stupid? The stupidest to the liberals! Ha! We are smart, very smart, and clever. A trickster like Bill Clinton would never have come up with Karl's master plan. We will let Osama out just before the election. We'll have an early Thanksgiving. Osama, you know, really is a social conservative. Think about it. He is ready to give his life to keep the liberals down.