What's a Guff? And how do you spell it?
by coonigan 12/7/00
What's a Guff? And how do you spell it?
by coonigan 12/7/00
Got everybody in the world standing before me, they disappear
as their clothes fall to the ground with a huge sigh,
I ain't gonna cry,
cause I found the treasure and everyone disappeared,
do I look scared?
I've got the treasure in milk-crates by my feet and love conquers all,
all loved in defeat.
I get myself a frothing beer and lie down in a lounge chair, 'Cheers to me, here's to us and we',
alone again, naturally.
It occurs to me it must be a dream,
I wake up and hear a tomcat scream.
But I don't wake up at all, I've gone lucid,
everything appears palucid.
That's how you know you're dreaming something illogical in the dream's
scheming,
then you become lucid,
in your own creation,
the real
world's incestuous relation.
I wake up and I'm back on my lounge chair,
drinking chilled frothing beer,
hot summer's day,
I wake again in the 2000th year.
I'm sure I'm awake now and I consider the powers of 2
they get
big real fast it's true,
2^40 = ~100,000,000,000 that's 100 billion couples
or 50 billion fucks,
that's a lot of money,
if you think of it in bucks.
Your family tree branches out endlessly every person crucial to
yourself.
40 generations in haphazzard procreation,
what are the odds of
you even getting a look-in,
I ain't calculated but I guess they're pretty slim.
This could be a hint to becoming lucid again,
the waking dream,
how insane.
But these ideas aren't new,
the popular writer Dr. Wayne Dyer
espoused them too.
Well, something similar anyhow,
and I swear I ain't got a sloping brow or even a bushy eye-brow,
I ain't even got a hairy chest
and so I let my case rest.
The cogs won't have read this far so I can talk dirty.
To a lot of people anal sex just doesn't enter their minds.
So it was with me, I had only tried it once and we had no idea and failed. Can you imagine your penis lubricated slipping into that delicious hot Heaven right up to the hilt?
I don't think there is a more powerful intimacy.
Yum, yum!
Or maybe licking a beautiful prepuce so delicate and soft, I ain't
talking men, get that straight, some with balls down to their knees and
cocks that belong to the animal kingdom, most preposterous.
Is it sacriligious to dream of such acts in heaven?
Do you think I give a fuck?
The only one I can offend is myself,
I have no respect for any gods that may be unless they return respect the same to me.
That's unlikely.
What else may betray the dreaminess of this life?
Something that doesn't seem to gell.
The good old cell!
Of course the body must be made of cells,
it could hardly be 'whole'.
So how do you get a body from a single cell?
You have it divide!
Only what you get are two identical cells.
That's not much help in creating an utterly complex body.
What about the magic of DNA?
It don't matter if the cells are 100% duplicates.
As I am led to believe.
Oh but they 'talk' to each other,
they have mouths and tongues and voice-boxes and lungs.
Whatever else life is a mysterious thang,
it started long ago with a silent big bang,
releasing a measure of stuff,
to house the unborn children asleep in the guff.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg
and is god leading you by the arm
or pulling you by the leg?
Somersaults of secret alchemy,
a monkey on a unicycle on TV,
facts and figures signing, sealing and delivering reality.
Believe what you're told not what you think,
we're all getting old, this ship's gonna sink.
Your chances of being Jesus
were markedly more,
you see, he only had half a family tree.
You kissing all the boys for a profit,
see Jesus on a bicycle and tell him to get off it,
you punch him on the nose
and he gets off and goes,
you whisper something about a hard world,
you got your Nazi flag unfurled.
You steal the baby's rattle for your band,
you're working in that factory and the press comes down on your hand.
The world ain't as hard as all that
it's just flat like the Netherlands.
Crazy two-timing wizards
turning all the people into lizards,
with their forked tongues darting in and out,
while you let out a silent shout.
Well it's just another dawn with a grey sky,
the birds are still alive,
long may the gravy-train thrive,
some people say too little too late,
but I'm always on time and I'm here to titillate.
That dream shit is madness as you know,
just thought I'd say that before I go,
oh but madness is real as a pocketful of change,
wierd, frightening and wonderful
and oh so strange.
Right now the world's 90% real
and I'm telling you that ain't a bad deal,
somewhere in the range of a pocketful of change.
Magic tricks inside Time
by coonigan 12/8/00
You in the mirror, screwed up face you can't see,
tears all over the place,
You found those places just out of grasp,
you know they're gone without a trace.
Long lost and gone from reach,
erazed by time like castles on the beach,
As you in all naked innocence get cozy sympathy from the god you beseach. And laughter comes and you don't get the joke but you laugh without shame, You can't put your finger right on it or point your finger to cast blame.
'Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Through the streets in my kilt I'll go,
All the lassies say 'Hullo, Donald where's ya troosers?''
Music of the spheres loud symphonic pieces as you empty a trashcan unawares
and musical reality playing a melody for anything or one that really cares.
But you're deaf and blind to it as it performs magic tricks inside Time,
Man can't you see it?
Sense it with all your faculties the chiming rhyme.
Two hands slap playing Snap,
you've got big fat Santa Claus in your lap,
You've just got to follow the performance, tag along you don't need a map. It's my nephew's 10th birthday party tomorrow, did I say 10?
I've got ten American green-back dollars which equals twenty here,
think I'll give him them.
And of course I'll get the HandyCam out and record history,
I made a home movie last year I've got all the video editing gear,
cause he and his younger bro won't be little boys for long,
I figure if I didn't capture something of these years I'd be doing something wrong.
Misconception is the only rule,
if you argue with that I challenge you to a duel.
And we're all too old for sex.
It Helps My Head
by coonigan 12/12/00
Ain’t digging clay,
digging mud,
ain’t digging for oil,
just blood, sweat and toil,
ain’t digging for gold,
ain’t mining for coal,
guess I’m just mining the soul.
But I’m coming out poor,
I can’t even open the door to infinity and forevermore.
You got your string of pearls,
fancy yourself among the prettiest girls,
you got your large beetle toys,
whisper to me that you can do it like boys.
Man but I’m mining my soul,
salt and pepper shakers start to roll on and off the floor,
as I wonder what’s behind the ever receding door.
Maybe there’s a ‘Do not disturb‘ sign but I can’t stop myself,
I gotta mine
what’s mine, what’s mine?
The birds piping in earliest morning air,
man it’s still dark out there.
Piping for the dawn,
piping from the blackness,
feathery creatures all reborn.
The mystery won’t budge,
got me cross-eyed eating fudge with one hand
and in the other sand.
But I guess my game is to search and find,
like hide n seek,
if you don’t mind.
Or maybe just to piss when the little boy’s kiss comes to me right on the smacker
like a soft-exploding firecracker.
Yes, seeking sweet delight,
the longest way from piping fifing fright.
I've got reality in one hand like a heavy weight,
but it's way, way too late,
just this morning seen the first beetle of the season,
chipping, chipping away,
chipping away at all reason.
My nephew's ten and I remember when a man that walked the moon
went crazy very soon hunting for Noah's Ark,
cause he stood on the dust and made his mark,
saw the earth floating free
and when I was ten he came to me.
He's dead now Irwin,
he reached the sea,
and I suppose his bootprints will live on throughout eternity.
Give me your hands boy, let me feel their grip,
let's dream of a big old wooden ship,
let's sail on her on a star spangled pitch black trip,
we'll call her Noah's Ark,
and we'll take her to the moon and park,
where Irwin stepped ashore,
and we'll think and we'll wonder,
till we see what he saw.
What Else Can a Man Write?
by coonigan 1/3/01
Oh wow, I thought I had some that I didn't do but I did them all.
Why you lookin' like that?
And your lips, you some kind of talkin' head?
Why you thinkin' 'At least I'm better off than dead'?
That hoop-skirt you're wearin' is just fit for tearin' off your bits,
oh honey can I shave your tits?
CHRIST!!! You and all your religious pondering
it's got you wondering
what's wrong, what's right,
ain't you ever been alone covered by night?
Ain't you got Levi's girl,
well put 'em on,
skin-tight wonder where the sun never shone.
Baby you're not just any bitch,
I love ya honey
and I got some itch,
oh babe I'm cryin' in my brain,
ease the pain,
ease the pain.
Man alive, I thought I had some that I didn't do but I did them all.
Ten gallon hats, saints preserve us, mice in a wheel and plastic steel,
am I a nice man?
Am I just a label on a tin can?
Have I got free-will
or do I gotta get a pill?
Am I bad for squashin' blow-flies full of maggots on the window sill?
They say that lemmings take that ride,
Jim Jones gotcha cyanide for suicide,
but honey you better run,
from the mamoth's only son.
Do I even mention boy?
Brain fuck him like those holy-rollers, man
download some of this shit boy,
spend ya dollars in hell,
Satan's got some treasures to sell.
You know boy,
you fly to the outer limits,
you see everything a man can possibly see,
you don't wanna even come far from being me.
Holy cow, I thought I had some that I didn't do but I did them all.
Sweet boy in a pith hat, fancy that,
I'm on the wire to the sound of a lyre.
Must be a typo.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Untainted heart,
as in the beginning,
as in the start,
dark quarters,
fisherman's twin daughters,
love supreme or so it would seem,
massive sun passing by,
spitting light on you and I,
cry, cry, cry, cry.
I wish I was twelve years old,
but that's twenty-seven years cold,
I wish I was young and had a friend,
forever and ever never end,
on the swings.
Of Time and Timbuktu,
that lasting life cozy and blue were true.
How I long for crazy boys,
who sniff their shoe and hitch up heavy pants
white the hue of underpants,
next door for too brief a time visiting for one evening, s
uch a crime!
Came in a car whose licence-plates read 2820,
the neighbour's read 2082
1 chance in 1111 that their plates would contain the same numbers made worse by the fact that I had just started mixing numbers around the previous day and got a 12 in 9999 and a 18 in 9999.
Magic is true,
ask not what you can do for magic
but what magic can do for you.
Purple beans, and dryed corn patchy black,
see a sailing boat tac,
beginner's luck at the golf-range,
handfuls of beans so strange.
It's not dillusion's of grandeur when you are grand
and when I've got my cock out in my hand I'm grand,
all pumped up and sensitive to the rubbing,
heavenly thing hot and throbbing.
Dear boy grip, polish it up like you would a table leg,
I'm on my knees
how else can I beg?
Well what else can a man write?
I'm allowed
by coonigan 1/11/01
Outside the art gallery having just viewed works by Picasso with friends
I noticed a towering metal sculpture that had two stylistic bands of steel that rotated with the wind,
I felt totally certain that I understood it.
Round and round went the sails on high with no sound,
'I know what that all means'.
So profound!
Man, have I been sick that long?
Someone's been pulling every lever in my head just to see what it does
reving every engine for a fearful buzz.
You know what gave me a thrill when I was very young?
Drawing and writing with felt-tips on the window,
you could put anything up there and it just wiped off.
Something we were allowed to do.
Geez, you're allowed.
I say you're allowed, you have my blessing, yes you can.I've had it hard, not to boast, but I've had it so good,
as everyone should,
all I gotta do is recall the one and all,
so good.
I know the suicide's contemplation,
thoughts of outrageous indignation,
gotta slice my own throat,
bleed like some sacrificial goat,
and be done
with your empty salvation and my premature ejaculation!
Dost thou think as I sip my mortal drink
that all life and existence offer any resistance?
It ain't that I want to commit suicide,
I'm just afraid I'll have to.
But I can't see that happening,
can't see that situation ever ripening.
Well just wipe your window clean and draw that functionless machine,
the one you have or will see in a dream at the end of some highway.
And you're gonna end up saying 'I did it their way' or 'I did it my way'.
Get some cheesey chairleaders with their pom-poms to sing it
real loud,
'You're allowed! You're allowed!'
Allowed to what?
One fingered typing
by coonigan 1/14/01
Look you, look here,
I see one world come into being and one disappear,
I mean fantasy ain't so fantastic when reality's reality ain't there.
Pull up a cushion
smoke the pipe
you don't got to listen,
it's just hype,
Hey man, did I ever tell you that I only use one finger on one hand to type?
My other hand is a stainless steel claw, man, it's so tragic, call me poor,
I'm under a copper sky where birds don't fly, I'm trying to open a door.
My cock just wants to come out of my boxers which are blue with chinese symbols,
Have you got your head screwed on right?
Don't tell me, you got it set in gimbals.
Sorrow is chasing us all the time it ain't gonna let up till it's done the crime,
Come on Marcel Marceau
press the glass,
inact your most sorrowful mime.
Yeah my cock makes it feel real good when the the boy's hand
(Wow) would,
Do the job of doing no less than heaven,
I really, really think we should.
You got the coat of many colours
and I got my RayBan dreamer sunglasses,
You're waiting for things that come
and I'm thinking everything passes.
so you think you got reality down,
you look at your shit and it's brown,
You got a mote in one eye and a log in the other,
you got the key to the town.
You're so brave ain't ya?
Dismissing those petulant fears,
well who cares?
But you're so afraid that one day you'll hear the fabric as it tears.
Don't worry sunny-boy,
maybe that's Errol Flynn sliding down the curtains he,
Or was it Zorro or someone else like a million maybes and and
no certainties.
Ah dang, bang, bang, bang,
cap guns going off in the dying evening sun,
You seen the glory of living, every battle in memory is fought and won.
Get yourself a blue shimmering swimming pool and a Pina colada or two,
I can't judge for ya,
relax, relax, the water's beautiful,
somehow so are you.
That's too sacharine and platitudinal an end to this,
I should make ammends,
If life were a teacher of truth
it would teach that the means justify the ends.
Yada, yada, yada
by coonigan 1/16/01
Oh yeah, boys.
All the arguments from black and white to shades of grey.
Under the stars on a milk white night
eating liquorice sticks turning green
no point in saying one word,
you got the black in pickup tricks obscene.
You gotta know that kind men and winker's plot with the blackest hearts,
and kind men ain't got a sin in their heads,
don't know where evil starts.
Ain't it a sin to profess love?
Gotta handle that stuff with a rubber glove
Under the stars on a milk white night next to a saturated-satin-black dove.
Think of honey flowing gold down your computer screen obscurring these words,
they were written by me and I'm sweet as honey
I talk with the pretty birds.
Yada, yada, yada.
Cheep, cheep, cheep.
Just writing, you know the story
by coonigan 1/21/01
Dawn again but the birds are playing for the first,
ain't no yesterday,
Ain't no tomorrow filled with sorrow,
ain't no reason to fast and pray.
There's just today,
you getting that straight?
Sit down
or stand and wait,
Maybe you're in a rustic setting,
infinite fields and sky by the old gate.
Maybe the rain teems
as you try to pretend that you can fix broken dreams,
Of timeless youth,
goodness in truth,
salvation in a little boy who beams.
Clinging to the far sighted men with cataracts as they scrawl in black pen,
Courting that opiate masturbation,
but it never arrives,
it's always again.
Of timeless youth,
goodness in truth,
salvation in a little boy who beams,
Boy in a grave,
truth like weather
and a grandfather clock that screams!
Resurrect the boy
he was only playing,
what about salvation was I saying?
And helpless you kneel by your bed
and assume the position for praying.Mel Gibson hung himself,
in a torture scene in Braveheart,
being wreckless,
He didn't feel a thing,
luckily they got him down, took off his necklace.
More power to boys of all description,
throw away your Prozac prescription,
You get your Bible out and read in solemn conviction
a lier's description.
Of timeless youth,
goodness in truth,
salvation in a little boy who beams,
Or to put it more succinctly
everything is was and will be as it seems.
In a bad mood....
by coonigan 1/24/01
Ya fucking savage, shoot a man in the head and he lies down flopping dead,
Ain't no complaint gonna come outta that saint,
dying blood coming out red.
My lust, you'll understand, I trust,
is coursing with that mad bloody pump,
I delight in its absolute might
like a bull on a cow insane as they hump.You, seeking for purity,
lost in a fog of obscurity that ain't gonna clear,
You don't know the meaning of beauty or duty,
falling apart like ya fear.
You'll find purity in lust blowing like a gust
fucking your inner reaches,
Your eyes won't sway from them,
'as they play on sunshiny heavenly beaches.
You're so innocent your sainthood's imminent,
you wept blood in your room,
You martred your lust something went bust
and your eyes fell upon the doom.
Your cock, YOUR cock, you, wants more than you do,
an oxymoron that's true,
Hey man, shapes of a boy make Apollo 11 a toy,
The Empire State Building too.
If you ain't lustful you're in denial an innocent man on trial so it seems,
Thoughts you couldn't even conceive like Adam and Eve come to your dreams.
What are we gonna do with you?
Can't ya hear the harmony lusting after you?
Sweet dreams little child naked in the wild
better living than a human zoo.That was fun a real bust,
I love so much I lust,
don't you turn in disgust,
For what holds for one man, resides in the clan,
I know I got that sussed.
I chew chewing gum looking at a child's bum,
fuck what feelings will come,
Couplet number 1, guy with the gun,
made it all go away drinking red rum.This poem didn't come out like it should,
more the good,
gotta get a grip,
Trying to thread that damn needle with a rope like a camel,
take that trip.
Blue skies, sailing boats,
big wooden buttons on duffel coats,
little boy,
What's on the other side of insanity?
Reality?
Dillusions for to destroy.
