Dear Earthlings:
Finally, the December issue is out. Merry Christmas and happy new year everybody.
You may have noticed that we missed the September, October, and November issues. We really like to think up some credible excuses, but since you won't care anyway, we'll just admit that the dreaded disease called procratination knocked us down again.
In fact, this edition of Planet Trash is obviously forced. Many of the regular (regular? haha) sections--the special feature, Life's Little Destruction Book, etc.--are missing. That is because only Christian and I were responsible (though not punctual) enough to cough up some trash. The others--Matt, Iron Nick, Crapupu, the Prophet, and Vlad--are still missing and presumed dead. Let's just hope that they will finally come alive in the next millennium.
As of today (12/17/99), there are only seven articles on this site, which means exactly one article for each of the seven persons that visited our website in the past four months (to the seven dwarves, thanks a lot for your support). In the highly unlikely event that one of our dead writers surfaces and submits an article, we will post it as soon as we get into the mood. Hell, I don't think you people are clamoring for our articles anyway.
Our seven faithful followers would have noticed that there is a new section called Celebrity Advice. The column is actually published in the Ateneo Sanggunian Magazine, copies of which litter the Ateneo campus and get trampled upon by thousands of dirty feet. I hope you like it (the article, not the magazine).
With the substantial decrease in the quantity of trash on this site, you must think that Planet Trash is slowly dying. Well, guess what, I've got news for you. Christian actually floated the idea that we get our own domain name (maybe something like www.trash.com.ph) next year. We are really excited by the idea, and, with help from above, we may just have our very own web domain in the year 2035. Wish us luck.
But there is something good about this edition of Planet Trash. In the spirit of the Yuletide season, we have declared a ceasefire on offensives against Lasallites, the same way that our good government declared a ceasefire with the communist rebels. In this issue, you won't find any (well, maybe a little jab here or there, but not too many) attacks on our Lasallite brothers.
And I implore you, dear friends, be kind to Lasallites. Remember, Lasallites are people, too, and they deserve our pity and sympathy, especially in this season of love and giving. Amen.
Sincerely,
Josh
Comments? Suggestions? Flames?
Send them to josh@thekeyboard.com
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