Leia Misérables: A Star Wars Opera

Act Two

Still by Salatrel and Arrhae. See Act 1 for disclaimer.

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(plot summary: The battle of Endor has begun. While the Rebel fleet amasses near the Death Star, the rebels on-planet enlist the aid of the Ewoks. Big silly battle ensues, as millions of dollars worth of nifty Chicken Walkers are destroyed by rocks and logs.)

THE FOREST BATTLE- LOVELY LADIES

STORMTROOPER 1:

I smell Rebels,
Smell 'em in the air...
Think I'll take a potshot
At that fir tree over there!

STORMTROOPER 2:
Rebels fighting,
Isn't that a joke!
One shot from the Death Star
And we'll vaporise those blokes!

STORMTROOPER 3:
Watch the rebels going up in smoke!

EWOKS:
Ewoks fighting,
Think it's awfully grand!
Even little teddy bears
Can get the upper hand!
Ewoks fighting,
Sticks and logs and rocks
Everything's a weapon
And the Impie's we'll outfox!
Send the Impies back home in a box!

(Han yells to a Stormtrooper)

HAN:
Come here my dear,
Come see the Rebels back there,
They're breaking in.

STORMTROOPER:
Who are you, why are you here?
You're one of them!

HAN:
They're going to blow up the base.

STORMTROOPER:
Blow up the base?
What the hell- how do you know?
And who are you?

HAN:
Just follow me.

STORMTROOPER:
You Rebel Scum!

HAN:
Oops, gotta go!

STORMTROOPER:
You get back here!
You Rebel Scum, Don't try to run

 

 more to come...

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