--from the Encyclopedia of Jewish Humor

Rather to my surprise, I spent tonight at a wedding.

It wasn't that I hadn't wanted to attend it; indeed, when I found out that the groom had gotten engaged a few months back, I had pretty much taken it as a given that I'd be at the wedding. I just hadn't had any idea that it was scheduled for tonight.

Apparently, the groom -- a friend of mine from a few years back, when we attended the same post-high-school seminary -- had been trying to track me down, but had been having trouble doing so. I did move a while back, and I'm not that easy to get hold of, so this is understandable.

As it happens, I went to sleep really late last night, or, rather, this morning. Which is why, when a mutual friend called me shortly after noon, he more or less woke me up. It turns out that he'd been trying to reach me the previous night, but had accidentally been dialling the wrong number. (This probably wouldn't have mattered, actually, as I was on the 'Net for most of the night.) Anyway, the wedding was, indeed, tonight, and the groom wanted me there.

One catch -- which I didn't tell him -- was that I'd already made plans for the night. I and another Clean Sheets Galley Slave were supposed to be attending the book signing of one of our regular writers, at the same time that the wedding was to be taking place. Hmmm.

So I switched on the computer and checked my e-mail, and there, in my Inbox, was a message from the aforementioned staffer, to the effect that there was a scheduling problem on her end also, so she couldn't make it.

Sometimes everything does work out perfectly.

But, anyway, I eventually managed to drag myself out of bed, select a suitable collection of shtick (I decided to travel light this time, taking only enough stuff to fill my knapsack. This decision was aided by the fact that I lost a lot of shtick at the last wedding I attended, easily setting my all-time attrition record, so I'll need to buy some more before I'll be back up to full strength again), go to the ATM, withdraw $20, go to the nearby grocery, buy a MetroCard, go to the nearby bus stop, and take the bus to the train to the transfer point, to the other train, to the wedding hall, in Brooklyn. Owing to the slow start, I arrived shortly after the wedding ceremony ended. I'd anticipated that, though, and was really more concerned with being there for the rest of it.

I probably want to keep the following in mind in the future, though: There is a particular -- I'm not sure whether it qualifies as a "dance," exactly, but I can't think of a better term -- anyway, it involves two people gripping each other's hands (crossed at the wrists), leaning way back, and, taking very small steps, revolving around and around at roughly the same speed as the blades of a blender. There are variants on this theme, but the principle is the same. It's not done all that often, 'cause it's not the safest move in the world...

Anyway, if you are thinking of doing something like this, it may be worth considering two things: the condition of your shoes; and your body mass, relative to that of your partner. Had I done so, I might not have spun out of control earlier tonight. I don't think my head hit the ground, although it's hard to be certain. I think it just crashed into somebody's legs, as my back hit the floor. Either way, a friend gave me a hand up, and, with my arm over his shoulders for support, we made our way over to the drinks table so I could have some seltzer. And all was fine.

Actually, I don't think the weight difference was really the problem here. The other guy didn't weigh that much more than me, I don't think, and that hasn't been an insurmountable factor in the past. The shoes, on the other hand... my formal shoes are really worn out. In fact, for that reason, I got a new pair of shoes just before my brother's wedding back in August. The problem is that those got lost in the car crash immediately thereafter, and I haven't yet had a chance to replace them. During the week, I wear sneakers, so it's not a pressing problem, in general.

But I digress. On the whole, the night was good. Especially as, towards the end of the night, this kid introduced himself. He attends the high school I went to, which is also where I attended post-high-school seminary for four years, which is where I know the groom from. Anyway, he said that he'd seen me in action at a few weddings now, and I really do a great job of livening them up and making them enjoyable for everybody, and it's a great mitzvah, and he just wanted me to know that.

Needless to say, this made my night.

Anyway, on Wednesday I had my first Introduction to Acting class. This is, in fact, the class I'm most positive about, at least as it pertains to the instructor and the material. The class itself, I'm a bit less enthusiastic about, on two counts. For one thing, the class includes a genuine, certified, no-doubt-about-it, dyed-in-the-wool class clown, which is a phenomenon I haven't had to worry about since high school. And I'd been happy about not having to worry about it. But, okay, I suppose not taking yourself seriously and being a showoff probably comes with the acting territory.

The other thing is that a very high percentage of the class is Jewish. I'd guesstimate that upwards of half the class is from one Jewish denomination or another, and that a high proportion of those are Orthodox. Mostly from more modern Orthodox communities than I came from, but still... I hadn't expected this. Or experienced anything like it in any of my other classes.

See, while there are a lot of "Yids with lids" at Queens College in general, most of them major in accounting, economics, or the sciences. There aren't too many Orthodox Jewish English majors. And while I've hung out with some of the other Jews on campus -- mostly those I know from elsewhere, or met through the college paper, and usually at the kosher pizza shop on campus -- I haven't minded generally not sharing classes with them.

Not that I have anything against them. Far from it. It's like this, though. As I've begun chronicling in the past, I've been straddling the dividing line between what, for me at least, are two radically different worlds: the religious and the secular. For better or for worse, I've generally been keeping those two as separate as I can manage. While I don't make any radical changes no matter where I am or who I'm with, there are some differences. Perhaps more to the point, I'm on guard against different things depending on who I'm with. Among the Orthodox Jewish crowd, I'm generally making sure not to do anything outside of the norm for that culture; among the non-Jewish crowd, I'm generally making sure to use pure English (without lapsing into Yeshivish), and trying to simultaneously not make the Jewish world look bad, while also making it clear that I'm not remotely typical of that world, so I shouldn't be taken as an emissary from it or anything.

I'm not sure this isn't coming out wrong... and I should clarify that most of this isn't really conscious. I'm just aware that the demographics of this class is making me a bit uncomfortable, and I'm trying to unravel my thought processes right now. That doesn't mean that I'm doing it well.

But, yeah, much of this class consists of people with whom I'd be utilizing a different vocabulary, under normal circumstances, and whom I generally wouldn't be showing some sides of myself. How this will affect my ability to function in an acting class remains an open question. For the moment, it seems as if this means that I'll have to have more screens up than usual, to account for the widest common denominator.

We'll see what happens, though. I'm probably just making a mountain out of a molehill.

Anyway, the lab consisted of a somewhat boring, but okay overview of the syllabus, followed by a somewhat boring, but okay guided tour of the maps and rocks and stuff in the hallways of the Geology Department, followed by the first lab assignment in what promises to be a somewhat boring, but okay course, taught by a somewhat--

Okay, that wouldn't be very nice.

Not wholly inaccurate, but not very nice.