So... I'm basically broke, the phone company is likely to start getting antsy soon, and I still haven't found a job, so, naturally, the only thing I could find to do on Friday (aside from doing a bit of writing) was go shopping for clothes. Of course.

Well, it was a trip I'd wanted to make for a while, to a discount store in Jamaica, where I picked up one pair of jeans ($12.99), two yellow t-shirts ($1.99 apiece), a couple bottles of nasty chemical cleansers (one with bleach, one without -- about $1.00 apiece), and a pair of rubber gloves (for use with said cleansers -- also $1.00). Oh, and a hot pink Mickey Mouse baseball cap ($1.99), which I have plans for, but you'll be hearing more about that after Spring Break, if all goes well.

Now, about those jeans. This is a relatively recent development, although it's one I've been interested in implementing for a while. See, yeshiva students -- at least the ones I grew up with -- simply don't wear denim. It's just not done. There's an image to maintain, and jeans decidedly do not fit that image.

Well. Yeshiva students also don't go around wearing t-shirts reading "Prepositions are bad words to end sentences with," let alone "Poets go from bad to verse," so I figure I'm already sunk. :-)

I suppose it bears mentioning at this point that, from the neck up, I look like a rabbi. Or perhaps a pirate. Longish brown beard, black velvet yarmulke, that sort of thing.

The first semester I attended college, I stuck with what I'd always worn in yeshiva, at least partially because I was still attending yeshiva in the afternoon, before scooting off to night classes in college. White dress shirt, navy blue pants, navy blue suit jacket.

I made a deliberate image shift the next semester, keeping the navy blue pants (somebody recently referred to them as "dress pants," so perhaps that's what they are. Beats me), but switching to t-shirts. Some of them with pre-printed designs, but many of them custom-designed by Yours Truly, with slogans neatly lettered with permanent marker.

Slogans like "Proofread carefully to make sure you didn't any words out." Or "I before E except after C; what a WEIRD SOCIETY!" Or "Every statement on this shirt is false." Or "Syntax who needs?" Or... well, you get the idea. I use slightly irregular shirts, so they're actually pretty cheap, and they're fun to make. The only catch is that the ink tends to fade over time; I sometimes have to re-ink the things after a few washings.

Just as it stood, I'm given to understand that I caused some people not a little cognitive dissonance. That neck-up vs. below-the-neck thing; was I a rabbi in training, or a college student?

Jeans, on the other hand, were still uncharted territory. So I went scouting around eBay. After bidding on, and losing, a few auctions, I finally ended up with a couple of pairs.

The first was, admittedly, a mistake. Having gotten a bit fed up with losing every auction I'd bid on until that point, and not wanting to wait until the next exact size match came around, I got a pair that was three inches too long, reasoning that I could always hem them or something. (If you've used eBay, you very likely understand the phenomenon.) I realized after I got 'em that it probably wasn't that simple, and they've been mostly gathering dust since, after I tried them on once or twice.

Trying them on was an enlightening experience, though. Because these things were tight. I mean, tight. Tight as in, I almost needed a shoehorn to get into the things, and had just a bit of trouble breathing after I buttoned them shut. I'd always heard about such things, but had never actually experienced it before.

Among other things, I began to understand for the first time why anybody would want to use the back pockets. I never have, and doubt I ever will; the side pockets are more accessable, less susceptable to pick-pockets, and more comfortable -- usually. But in these things, managing to slide anything into the side pockets would be something of a stretch. (Um, that wasn't meant as a play on words or anything. Really.)

I also discovered for the first time that, like, I have an ass, but perhaps the less said about that, the better. Let's just say that having something that tight around me made me a bit more conscious of my body than I'd previously been.

But they were too long. Just as well. :-)

The other pair fit pretty well. Just a little bit tighter than I'm used to, but nowhere near that other pair. Same waist size (30", if it matters) in both cases, though. Go figure. Anyway, these were a very light blue. Bugle Boy, if that means anything. (I am utterly clueless when it comes to this sort of thing.)

I wore them for the first time a few weeks ago, doing a double-take every time I looked down and failed to see my legs clad in navy blue. And again, the world failed to come to an end. In fact, nobody seemed to notice.

I haven't worn them back home yet. There, people would notice. :-)

But, anyway, I picked up another pair yesterday; this time, Jordache. A bit looser this time, although I didn't have any way of knowing that until I got home. (The sort of discount stores I shop in don't have dressing rooms.) I suppose there may be some sort of indication on the label to indicate just how the thing fits or something; I wouldn't know. But these are your standard "blue jeans" blue, and I figure I'll be wearing 'em soon.

Other than the cultural statement, I can't say I see what all the fuss is about; my usual pants (Bill Blass Casuals, if that helps) are at least as comfortable, and not as heavy. And I've been recycling the same four pairs for a few years now, so I'd say they're pretty durable. But... anyway, that's the news from the fashion front. :-)