(Nor do ugly daily planners satisfy. We're both a bit spoiled, I think.)

The infomercial for Ron Popeil's latest brainchild, the Ronco Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ, is running on two stations as I type this. He's been cooking a bunch of chickens, a giant turkey, a couple of ducks, a roast, steaks, lamb, ribs, and various vegetables in at least a dozen of these miracle kitchen appliances, occasionally taking something out, slicing a piece or two off, and putting the rest aside, after which the finished food vanishes from sight, and is never seen again.

But me, I can't help but wonder. What happens to all that food? Is it fed to the enthusiastic studio audience of satisfied product owners? Eaten by the camera crew? Or (pause for an elaborate shudder) simply discarded? I don't know how I can sleep, worrying about all that potential waste...

...okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. But I wonder nonetheless.

'Course, the fact that the commercial makes me hungry doesn't help any. Mmm, chicken... specifically the white meat, and if you go heavy on the paprika, so much the better...

...but I'd better stop here, before I completely gross out the vegetarians in the audience, and make the carnivores drool all over their keyboards. The infomercial's over now, anyway.

Furthermore, the Newfangled Miracle Auto Lock (which has a better name, not that I remember it) is made of solid steel, so when a sharpshooter shoots at it and the Club, the Club is vaporized, but it's just fine! (We'll ignore the anecdotal nature of this evidence, okay? I think they just enjoy showing the clip of the Club getting vaporized over and over.)

Here, too, I have one nagging question, which kinda spoils the whole show. That is, they bring up a professional locksmith, who picks the lock on the Club in a few seconds flat. However -- and this is the only test in the infomercial that doesn't involve both products -- the locksmith never tries to pick their lock. They merely assert that they use a better, unpickable lock, but I wonder. Bad show, guys. Better to have left the locksmith off altogether.

Sure, there's too much violence in the media, but legislation isn't the answer, darn it. Neither is threatening those in the media industry, to spur them into censoring themselves.

And that's all I'm gonna say for now, or I'm gonna get really worked up about the whole matter, which would not be a good thing.

My question, then, is: okay, maybe there are problems with Firestone tires, but are the vans really supposed to flip over when one of the things blows? I had previously written the whole thing off as an unavoidable fluke accident, but now I wonder.

Not that I'm especially rational on this issue. But it's both depressing and infuriating to read an article on the subject and go through story after story after story just like your own, only with variations in the number of people injured or killed.

Although how she can leave a position that comes with such cool business cards, I'll never understand. Honestly, people, it's way cool. It's got rounded corners and a playing-card finish. It's printed on both sides, that's how cool it is. Almost worth staying in a lousy job that sucks away your soul for.

...well, okay, maybe it's not that good, but it's still pretty cool.

(Please don't kill me, Jen. Just kidding. Really.)

<Shmuel surfs over to their site and orders the Portable Student Planner Refill.>

Let's ignore the fact that I'm gonna be broke after I pay the rent on Friday. Let's also ignore the fact that this sort of thing is precisely why I didn't want to get a credit card for the longest time. When the creditors start threatening me, at least I shall be able to neatly pencil in when they're all expected to call.

(And at least I have a low credit limit, which is mostly a good thing. I could do a lot more damage to myself otherwise.)

The following Monday, the counselling is out, but I get to rush to Lawrence, arriving just in time for my 5:30 appointment at the dentist, after which I run right back to school. And I've been losing track of all this, so it'll be nice to get everything back under control.

Oh, and the graduate school search and scholarship applications? Please don't make me laugh... or cry. The latter being the more likely result. I haven't done a blessed thing about 'em in the past couple of weeks.

Stopped by the family home briefly on the way back, partly in order to see my mother, and partly to raid the freezer, being low on both food and the cash needed to buy more. Both were accomplished, so that much was good.

Oh, and my art homework... darn. Well, if I get up early enough, I can do it before class. I hope.

G'night!