Okay, let's look at the essential facts:

1. I have a term paper in drama due on Tuesday.
   • I am going to be in Chicago on Tuesday. Hence, the paper must be dropped off in college before I leave.

   • I am going to be picked up for the airport at the ungodly hour of 9:30 on Monday morning. The paper must have been dropped off before then.

   • It is now 4:45 AM, really early Monday, and I still don't know what to write about.

   • The professor was quite clear about late papers not being accepted.

2. I am attending a wedding in Chicago on Monday night.
   • Being awake during the wedding is much to be desired.

   • I don't sleep well on planes.

   • I'll also need to pack. I do, at least, have all of my shtick in one giant bag, where it's been since the last wedding, but clothes and stuff would be nice, too.

3. Tuesday, it's over to the University of Chicago.
   • If nothing else, I want to go for a tour of the place.

   • Dropping by an English Dept. faculty member's office would be nice, too.

   • That, however, would require me to be coherent, which may be a bit much to ask.

4. I arrive home Tuesday night too late for Buffy and Angel.
   • Alas.

   • Thank goodness for Texan friends with VCRs.

5. I have a poetry reading to attend on Wednesday night.
   • I could hardly get out of this one, as I single-handedly drove Prof. J up the wall until he finally scheduled the thing.

   • And I do want to be there, anyway. And if you're in New York, feel free to stop by. E-mail me for the details.

   • On the other hand, this is going to cut into the all-important cramming period before...

6. I take the GRE on Thursday.
   • I had no choice as to the date; it was this, or mid-December, too late for the Mellon, not to mention some grad schools.

   • It doesn't help matters that this takes place during my painting class, though.

   • No, I haven't actually had a chance to study for it yet.

   • The upshot of all this is...

7. I.
   Am.
   Screwed.

8. And it's probably my own damn fault, too.